Has there ever been anything in your life that you wanted so badly that it seemed to consume your every thought, action, and motive? This is exactly how I felt for about 10 years. Unfortunately, as my desire to have a child became stronger, my desire to serve a loving God seemed to diminish. We became numb Christians going through the motions but no longer fully trusting. My husband and I wanted a family of our own and God had his own plan of how that was going to happen. During those many years of trying to conceive, enduring a battery of tests, undergoing two major surgeries, the hormone shots and hospitalization from four IVF procedures, and two miscarriages it was as if we had hopped on a roller coaster and never knew if the ride of highs and lows would end. We finally conceded to the Lord. It was along this journey of craziness, we realized that we were no longer in control – we gave all our desires and put our hope in God. The more we turned over to him, the stronger our marriage became. We felt a secure feeling of choosing the right social worker and adoption agency. We opened up to others, and we were thankful for what we had, not what we wanted to have due to our earthly desires.
With God’s guidance, he alone brought us to the realization that adoption was the way he wanted us to start our family. As we look back on the adoptions of our children, we can see God’s hand in every single event that occurred. We didn’t know it at the time but our son was actually born while we were Youth Sponsors at a Christian youth rally with hundreds of teenagers singing praise songs in St. Louis. We both felt so close to God that night singing and we now know why we felt so blessed. Each concern we had about adoption was graciously addressed by God and our anxiety’s put to rest. We think of the journey our children have taken in God’s loving care from their conception to our loving open arms. We have two amazing adopted children with two unique birth stories. The most significant thing we can take from our experience with adoption is to trust in him and believe that it is God’s timing not ours. Know his plan is already in action for you.
Cindy & Rob Miller